“Baby Bluebird” by Roger Hayden
This is how I feel: brand new, vulnerable, unsure and not at all what I expected.
This is how I have felt since the launch of our so-called new world in 2013.
Wait! I thought I was a Bluebird!? Ready to fly in my full blue regalia, the color of aquamarines and Tahitian waters. Skyblue: the clarion color of clarity. In astrological lore blue is the color of the evolved human being coming into form in the next cycle of humanity~the Aquarian age.
Didn’t we step into that cosmic quantum Field on Dec 22, 2012?
So why am I mostly brown with only these tiny blue feathers? Aren’t I a Bluebird after all? What is this brown color that looks like I have been rolling around in some kind of decay or mud… or worse. It seems since the launch of 2013, I have been consumed still with the detritus of my past which I thought was supposed to be complete in 2012. Granted I felt the hint and longing for my new emerging Self, but right now, I feel betrayed by my old patterns and by the universal forces themselves. I am quite tired and mottled ugly and look rather ravaged.
Is this what birth of a new era feels like?
And this is how I have felt: somewhat angry and pissed off about life’s circumstance.
(Still looking for the photo credit. Please send word if you know.)
Why has this new cycle felt so challenging and why have I felt so out of my element? I want to be a bluebird of happiness for god’s sake and where’s the friggin’ rainbow?
So in case any of you have had similar confusions, upsets and concerns surrounding your life, here are some insights that have emerged for me as I honestly express the uncertainty I have felt as we launch this newest upgrade of our human species. Yes, that is the creative gift of these times. We are all doing this, one heart, one life, one family, one daily choice at a time. And our choices are setting the course for the coming 2000-5000+ year cycle.
While shopping at my local grocer in January, on the first check I wrote for 2013, oddly I wrote 3013. What? Goofy! Whatever. Cross that out and write 2013 and initial it. And then I did it again and again and my hand kept dating the checks 3013. I’ve always been a student of the future, but this is weird. What was that all about?
Maybe this explains it. Because this year started out with such uncertainty and lacked a focus and clarity that I had anticipated, even expected, I had begun a practice (you might try this) of meditating with my future Self suggested to me by my friend Dee Elle (find her here on Facebook).
I was asking my awakened future Self for practical advice that would guide me to make the better choices for me and for our planet. You might be more comfortable calling this an exercise from your imagination. Why not imagine our future selves, our future world? Isn’t this the same place that science fiction writers write from? I imagine so. As all time is linked in the quantum Field, it is possible to connect with both your past and future selves. This isn’t new age woo woo. This is quantum physics at work. Give it a go. Try it for your own clarity and awakening and much needed guidance in these times.
Here are some insights and suggestions I have received so far as I continue this practice:
~Do something today your future Self would do.
~Instigate fresh new routines. This means you automatically relinquish old habits and ruts from your past, always a good idea. Note the word fresh. Not healthy, but fresh. Interesting.
~Live in harmony with your natural rhythms. This is KEY. Each of us moves to the music of our cells, our souls, our natural timing. You must stop comparing yourself to anyone else. This is the KEY to happiness.
~Pause, breathe, before acting. Feel the silence and stillness out of which all helpful actions arise.
~Descartes had it backward: I AM therefore I think.
This proper order of creation will shift your life in countless positive directions.
OK. I feel better about 2013 as I follow the guidance coming to me from dimensions much larger than I currently reside within. I am being stretched and grown and launched in ways I can’t yet fathom. Yet I know this guidance is coming from Me, to me, from my higher dimensions. Cool and weird too. As Eckhart Tolle inquires: “Am I one or two? Only one is real.” Interesting to contemplate.
So again, here is a picture of our lovely baby Bluebird, compliments of Jackson Hole, Wyoming photographer Roger Hayden ~ find him on Facebook.
Now I might say this: Wow! What’s happening to me? I thought I was a brown bird but what’s this? What are these blue feathers emerging? What a lovely color, blue. I think I am changing in mysterious ways that defy logic. I like the blue.
I guess I’ll go with the flow.
A couple of wise texts have accompanied me in these nascent months of 2013. Here are a few good quotes.
From Pema Chodran’s “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change”:
“A confused mind perceives the world as confused. But the unfixated mind perceives the world as a pure land, a mandala of awakening.”
And she quotes her teacher Chogyam Trungpa Rimpoche:
“Chaos should be regarded as extremely good news.”
From Anne Lamott’s ” Help Thanks Wow: The Three Essential Prayers”:
“Air and light heals; they somehow get into those dark, musty places like spiritual antibiotics.”
Wow, spiritual antibiotics. Wonderful. Air and light. Keys to health.
From Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now”:
“To become conscious of Being you need to reclaim consciousness from the mind.”
He also speaks of ” the transcendence of the egoic mind and the possibility of living in an entirely new state of consciousness.”
I am a lifelong fan of the palette of Crayola crayons, a fan of the living rainbow. And both the Brown of Earth and the Blue of Sky have shaped and inspired my life.
Our heavenly Earth. Our Earthly heaven.
We are heading toward integration at last.
Ah, to sniff life anew in this fresh air of Spring Equinox, the sacred Earth moment when we set in motion our new ideas, our next creative efforts, our desires reborn. All good things await me in my innocence if I will remain open and curious. I don’t need to know who I am ~yet.
I will stay open and curious about this newly evolving human I AM ~ WE ARE TOGETHER.